#5

A couple years ago I learned that my great grandmother died from burn wounds after her Mexican sun dress caught fire on a stove when she was cooking. Now and then I catch myself daydreaming, trying to imagine what it would have been like to have been in that kitchen. Half the time I create this memory which is kind of black and white with splotches of color and hazy (as memories (even if fabricated) often are). Everything moves in slow motion and has some kind of mesmerizing atheistic. Like a foreign film. And then the dream snaps to what it actually probably looked like, which must have been absolutely horrifying. Anyway, these romanticized and realistic versions both coexist stimutaneously in my mind and switch back and forth as if someone were flipping a switch in my brain. I don't really know what to think of it, but for the most part it gives me this sense of peace and tranquility which is odd considering I'm thinking of someone burning alive.