So as it turns out my Macbook Pro Charger has melted away at the connection closest to the white box is surely will be breaking sometime in the next week or two. I originally began fixing the problem by taping it up and moving the cord until it began to power up. Then I had to pinch the cord where the bad connection was (over the plastic) to charge it, but after 10 seconds it was too hot to touch, so I had to abandon that plan. Now I've just wrapped up the boo boo in loose copper wire and re-wrapped it in plastic tape (for some reason there's no electrical tape in this house). Yes, I recognize this is very unsafe and a potential fire hazard, but I'm doing what I can until I can make this thing last just a little further.
I just checked on the cord and the tape is already melted. awwwwww SHIT. This is so bad.
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